Conversations With an Unwritten Novel

I got the idea here and since I like procrastinating my novel, thought I'd give it a shot.

Novel: Hey, you know how you were feeling really good about your word-count last night? And how it said you'd been done by November 29th?

Me: Yeah, I remember. Why?

Novel: If you look now, it says December 3rd.

Me: Why would you draw my attention to that?

Novel: Oh come on, it's not like you'll have me done by November 30th anyway.

Me: But I'll have 50k. That's close enough.

Novel: Words don't equal story. Remember Stasis? Almost 100 pages and no story. Took you two years to realize that you suck at plot.

Me: Hey, leave Stasis alone. I was 14. Besides, you have a plot, in case you hadn't noticed.

Novel:  You named the villain after a Jersey Shore character you read while your procrastinating. That's plot gold, my friend.

Me: That may be where I got the idea, but it works. Besides, when I think of a better name, I'll go back and change it.

Novel: The way you went back and changed the twins eye color? Oh. . .wait, you still haven't done that yet.

Me: It's like you don't want to be written.

Novel: What I don't want is to be written just so you can say you wrote me. I thought you prided yourself on quality of words over quantity.

Me: I do. And I will. But there needs to be a balance of both.

Novel: At what cost? Your relationships? Your own sanity? People are starting to get annoyed with you because of this. Is it worth it?

Me: Yes, it's worth it. I can't give up now. I'm so close. This is just the Week 2 Slump.

Novel: If you say so. How many words left today?

Me: Shut up, book. You're not real.

Novel: Don't remind me.